Moments in the Lives of Outdated Cars.

[Basil Sunshine]

This is a series of one-shots I had in the Cars Fans Unite Forum called 'Moments In The Lives of Outdated Cars.' It's pretty much one-shots of how Radiator Springs was before Lightning. It's like, just Sally, Doc, Sarge, Fillmore, Sheriff, Flo, Ramone, Red, Luigi, Guido, Mater, and.....am I missing anyone? I think that's all, haha. But yeah, these are mainly considering Sarge and Fillmore. Not slash! Just friend stuff, you know man? People in the other forum loved it, so hopefully I'll get the same response here. Unfourtunately the owner of Cars Fans Unite pretty much deleted everything, so this one is from BEFORE I edited it, so it might contain some errors. Yeah....Anyway, So this is all just for fun. I really hope you guys like it! Cause I'm moving it here!


Chapter 1: Celebrity Obsessions!

It was 6:27 a.m. in the little town of Radiator Springs. The sun was whining bright over the desert, and not a cloud was in the sky. This implied that it would be a long, hot, lonely day. Lonely to the citizens of the town meant no business, which they were quite used to thee days. But despite the situation, they always made the best of it.

In an extravagantly decorated dome, a very interesting 1960 Volkswagen bus by the name of Fillmore was sleeping peacefully from having a very late night the day before. But as unfair as life is, sooner or later, everyone has to wake up. This coming to mind, Fillmore groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed in his room was that his scented candles had burned a very large black mark onto the floor. This happened pretty much all the time, so it didn't come as a surprise.He just rolled over to the spot and scooted a few record cases over it to hide the burnt spot. In moving the record cases, he uncovered several other burned spots. Fillmore decided to ignore it.

Still feeling unbearably sleepy, he took a deep breath in-- taking in a pile of incense ash. Fillmore began hacking and coughing; feeling it was out of his lungs, he smacked his mouth a few times and simply muttered, "Ew" to himself. He then began thinking about why he woke up so early, but his thoughts were interrupted by an increasingly annoying military wake-up call coming from his not-so-friendly nieghbor, Sarge. Fillmore remembered what he was supposed to do next.

He casually strolled out of his dome towards his speakers with a content smirk on his face. He kicked the speakers with his tire, and one of his very favorite songs began to lay/. Usually it would have been "The Star-Spangled Banner" by Jimi Hendrix, but today he changed the song to "White Rabbit" by the Jefferson Airplane. Before he turned on the music, Sarge had been heading towards his own home. But once he heard the kick on Fillmore's stereo, he quickly turned around and shouted:

"Will you turn that blasphemous junk off?"

"It isn't junk!" Fillmore yelled back with a look of disbelief on his face that only he could pull off.

"It's terrible!" the veteran loudly replied.

"So what if there's drug reference in it? It's the freakin' Jefferson Airplane, man!" Fillmore said as he made a stomping gesture with his right tire.

"Well I wasn't talking about drug references, but now that you mention it, that is yet another thing about what you call 'music.'" Sarge shot back, putting an extra tone of disgust when he said "music." "Now let me tell you--"

Before Sarge could finish his last thought, Fillmore began repeating "Lalalalalalala!" while doing a form of what one might call "donuts" in the dirt.

"Now that is just immature," Sarge said, watching Fillmore. Soon the hippie grew tired of his current activity and began singing along with the song instead. "Boy, your lifestyle is just beyond me," Sarge said with a laugh. Fillmore wasn't paying any particular attention to Sarge though-- he was too into the music.

"Ah...Isn't Grace Slick's voice just beautiful?" Fillmore said as he rolled over to Sarge.

"Isn't Grace Slip that gal you made that shrine for?" Sarge asked.

"First of all, it's Grace Slick. Second of all, it isn't a shrine, just a few photos...."Fillmore said as he backed up a bit to admire the newly painted sign on his lawn.

"A couple photos that you keep under your pillow, that is," Sarge replied. "You know hippy that's kind of an unhealthy obsession."

"Hey man..." Fillmore said slowly as he turned towards his friend," They aren't under my pillow anymore. I moved them to the wall, okay?"

"Well I still say that--"

Before Sarge could finish his thought, Luigi, the unbearably adorable yellow Fiat, came rolling by. "What is the matter?" he asked, seeing that Fillmore and Sarge had been arguing.

"Nothing, actually," Fillmore said quite casually. He rolled next to Sarge, who tried to scoot away.

"Oh good. Then in that case, have either of you seen-a Guido?" Luigi asked with a smile on his face. Ever since Sally taught them how to play hide-and-seek a week ago, that's all they did. "You see, we are playing hide-and-seek! It really is fun."

"Well Luigi, I haven't seen him," Sarge said.

"Neither have I man, but why don't you try inside the Cozy Cones?" Fillmore failed to mention the fact that Guido nearly always hid there.

"Ah, yes! Thank you!" Luigi said as his face lit up. He sped away to the cones. Fillmore looked back at Sarge again.

"Need I mention the dozens of Audrey Hepburn movies you have stashed in your room?" Fillmore asked, looking smug as they returned to the subject of celebrity obsessions.

"Alright, now we can both admit that Audrey Hepburn is a very acceptable subject of affection! I mean look at her! Come on," Sarge said. Fillmore was a little surprised that Sarge would openly show any emotion other than anger, but what he was saying was a good thing.

"I don't know, man..." Fillmore said, shaking his head and tapping a tire. "You and you Audrey Hepburn obsession...you're a little screwed up in the head from it," Fillmore said, teasingly. Sarge rolled his eyes.

"Well boy, what about Twiggy?" Sarge replied. He was now heading over to his garage, and Fillmore followed.

"Twiggy? Hell no, man. I'm sorry, but that girl was way too skinny. I don't like that. I mean seriously, Sarge. Ew," Fillmore said, getting a sudden shiver through out his body, Don't get me wrong man-- I love all kinds of girls, but this one is just...Gah! Gross, man. Seriously."

Sarge pushed the button to lift his garage door open. "Alright, hippy, it's not that big of a deal." For a few moments the two were silent as Fillmore watched Sarge pace around the garage. It took all that time for Sarge to realize something he had missed in their conversation.
"Alright now, what were you even doing in my room in the first place!?!" Sarge asked, full of anger. He had now reverted back to the comment about the Audrey Hepburn films. Sarge said this so suddenly, that Fillmore jumped back and knocked over a few random pieces of wood leaning against the wall.

"Woah, man. Breathe! I was seeing if I could borrow something," Fillmore said, taken aback.

"Borrow what, exactly?" Sarge said, anger in his eyes.

"C'mon man, it was just yesterday, and I only wanted to borrow batteries!" Fillmore said, backing out of the garage. "You weren't there, so I--"

Took a batteries from my house?" Sarge finished for Fillmore. "That's why I haven't been able to use my night vision goggles?!" Sarge asked as he followed Fillmore out.

"Well yes, but I'll give them back, I swear!" Fillmore said, slightly intimidated. Sarge glared at Fillmore, but after realizing that he was getting hysterical over batteries, he backed down a bit. And as surprising as it is, he started laughing. Fillmore gave him a weird look, but realizing the odd situation they were in, he started laughing as well.

"Man, you're crazy." Fillmore said as they exited the garage.

"Boy, you do not even know," Sarge said, shaking his head. "Well I should be getting back to work. Now go on, hippy, and make some of that....freak juice of yours."

"Will do, man," Fillmore said as he rolled to his house next door.

Back in Fillmore's house, he decided to finish the newly painted sign in his front yard. He lit another stick of insence for no apparent reason, rolled into his front yard, and picked back up on his painting again. If I'm going to try and pass the time, I'd better do it with style, Fillmore thought as he turned on some Beatles records.

[Basil Sunshine]

CHAPTER 2: RAMONE'S HOUSE OF BODY ART


"Alright, bro," Ramone said, rolling back away from Fillmore. "Is that the best paintjob you've seen, or what?" Fillmore had spent most of his afternoon in Ramone's House of Body Art, getting his paint renewed. It was all the same, except Fillmore got the flower petals on his side changed to yellow. The rest was just painted over with the same design.



"Far out," Fillmore said in awe as he admired himself in the mirror. "You never fail to amaze me, man."



"I know. And to think it all started with a can of spray paint," Ramone replied, cleaning the area used to paint the VW bus.



"What do you think, Sarge?" Fillmore asked. Sarge was in the back of the store, looking around at the different shades of green. Simply by coincidence, Sarge had set an appointment on the same day. The army veteran drove over to the mirror where Fillmore was.



"It isn't really my style, but--" Sarge paused, thinking of a compliment. To tell the truth, Sarge thought Fillmore's designs were terrible. The whole "Peace" theme just never struck him as appealing. "It's nice." Fillmore laughed at the response.



"Tell the truth, man," Fillmore said, still looking in the mirror.



"It's an abomination," Sarge said.



"That's what I like to hear," Fillmore replied as he drove away so Sarge could be painted.



"Anything special this time, dude?" Ramone said, getting Sarge's colors ready.



"No thank you. I just want it renewed," Sarege said as Ramone covered Sarge's tires.



"No no. I think he should get a little pink peace sign riiight here," Fillmore said, poking Sarge above the right tire.



"Fillmore it will be a very cold day in hell when I put a peace sign anywhere," Sarge replied. Fillmore just smiled, shrugged and slowly rolled backward, accidently knocking over a can of paint-- which fortunately did not open.



"Whatever you say man, but your lack of color gives me headaches," Fillmore said. For a moment Sarge had this confused look on his face, taking in the irony of that last remark.



"Well your presence of color is the thing that gives me headaches." Sarge said as Ramone began painting.



"Hey, I like my colors. I stand out, and all of the designs really do send out a message, you know?" By now Fillmore was at the other end of the store, browsing the counters. All three of them were silent(well, Ramone had been for the past few minutes anyway.)



Sarge was occupying himself with an issue of Sports Illustrated. By now Ramone was busy painting his top. And no, it was not one of those filled with "exposed women." Flo confiscated and destroyed those before it could ever get into the posession of Ramone.



In the back of the store, Sarge could hear Fillmore snickering and messing around with something. Sarge just rolled his eyes. What is that hippy getting into now? Deciding to ignore whatever his friend was getting into, he began peacefully reading about the Arizona Cardinals. After a few moments of silence, Fillmore rolled up in front of him, thier faces only inches away. Sarge looked up with an annoyed look on his face. To his surprise, Fillmore's eyes were squinting as if holding in laughter. In return, Sarge gave a look of intense confusion. Ramone even stopped painting to see what was going on. Fillmore then grinned, and in his mouth of all things, was a grill.



Fillmore and Ramone busted out laughing, while Sarge was still trying to figure out what was going on. Ramone and Fillmore hi-fived eachother, as they continued laughing. The army veteren shook his head. "What on Earth are you doing?"



"I have no idea, man," Fillmore replied, still laughing. He took the grill off and set it aside.



"I just got a whole shipment of those grills, dude," Ramone said, grinning from mirror to mirror. I know we probably won't have any customers to buy 'em, but I just couldn't resist."



"What's a grill?" Sarge asked.



"It's kinda like those things you put on your mouth to whiten your teeth, except grills just have jewels all over them," Ramone answered, getting back to his work.



"What's the purpose?" the veteren replied.



"I really have no idea," Ramone said. Setting the grill back on its correct shelf, Fillmore continued to wait for Sarge to finish. After nearly five minutes passed, Fillmore couldn't take the wait any longer.



"Are you done yet?" he asked Sarge, in a rather childish manner.



"No, I am not done yet. Why should you have to wait for me anyway? Go up to Flo's or something," Sarge said, gesturing with a tire toward the door, hitting Ramone in the face by accident.



Fillmore laughed, and drove out of Ramone's.



He made his way down the street, on his way to Flo's V8 Cafe. Many of the residents were already there: Mater, Luigi, Guido, Flo, Sally, and Doc. Once he got there, he rolled into his usual spot. Everyone else was engaged in several different conversations; Luigi and Guido were arguing in Italian, Doc was trying to convince Mater to stop tractor tipping, and Flo was complimenting Sally on her new pinstripe tattoo.



"Well howdy, Fillmore!" Mater said as Fillmore was pulling up. Everyone else greeted him as well.



"Hey everyone," Fillmore said in his raspy voice.



"Where's Sarge?" Sally asked, surprised that he wasn't with him.



"Oh, he's getting a paintjob at Ramone's. Why do you ask?" Fillmore said. He was preoccupying himself with an over-turned beetle on the ground in front of him. He flipped it over and watched it fly away.



"I was just wondering. You two are pretty much attached at the waist," Sally said with a smile. Not a second after she finished, Sarge pulled up next to Fillmore, followed by Ramone.



"So did you decide to get that peace sign?" Fillmore asked with a laugh, already knowing the answer.



"No way, man," Sarge replied. Immediantly after these words left his mouth, Sarge's eyes grew wide and he gasped.



Aha!" Fillmore yelled pointing Sarge.



"I didn't even--" the veteren replied at a loss for words. He cou'dn't believe that he had just let the words 'No way, man' escape his mouth.



"It looks like a bit of Fillmore is rubbing off on you," Flo said with a smile.



"No no no no no. Now I'll admit that I've been hanging around that hippy too much, but never ever will he rub off on me," Sarge said in his stubborn manner.



"Sure I won't, man," Fillmore replied sarcastically, nudging his friend.

[Basil Sunshine]

CHAPTER 3: OF DEATH HOLES AND KILLER FENCES


"I'm so bored," Ramone said, breaking the silence that had taken place for the last five minutes. Sarge, Ramone, and Mater were watching Fillmore make tie-dye mud flaps outside of his dome. On most days they would just stay at Flo's V8 Cafe, but today Mater wanted them to watch Fillmore tie-dye.



"I second that," Sarge said as he spun his front right wheel over and over again in the dirt, creating a hole in the ground. Fillmore rolled his eyes as he hung a mud flap up to dry.



"That's the last one," he said, rolling back to look at his work. "How does it look?" he asked to no one in particular.



"I say that looks purdy darn good!" Mater said with a grin as he drove back and forth in front of the mud flaps.



"Thanks man," Fillmore replied. He turned to Ramone and Sarge. "Well if you two are so bored, what do want to do?" he asked them with a hint of annoyance in his voice. At least Mater appreciated his works of art.



"I don't know dude. What do you want to do?" Ramone said, turning to Sarge. Sarge thought for a second.



"I don't know...What do you want to do?" Sarge replied, preoccupied with the hole he was making in the ground with his tire.



"I dunno, man. What do you want do?" Fillmore asked Ramone.



"I dunno...What do you wanna do?" Ramone asked. This repeated about five more times, switching from Fillmore to Sarge to Ramone. Mater watched.



"I know what we can do!" Mater yelled, surprising the other three cars, who flinched as the tow truck jumped. Before anyone could ask any questions, Mater was quick to tell them. "Let's play a game."



Before anyone else could reply, Fillmore answered. "A game? Like what?"



"First ya'll need to promise to play," Mater said to them. "Now I ain't gonna tell you, 'til ya promise. It's a really fun game."



"I'll do it!" Fillmore said, interested in anything other than standing around. He smiled and drove to Mater's side. He then made a "Your Turn!" gesture to Sarge and Ramone.



"Eh, okay. But I have every right to back out if this gets too crazy," Ramone said as he lifted one side of his hydraulics and spun in a turn to face Sarge.



"I'm out," Sarge said as he backed away toward his house. Mater's eyes went wide.



"Nonono!" he said as he sped in front of Sarge to block him. "You can't go! It won't be fun with just three of us. Please?" Mater begged as he gave the saddest, puppy dog eyes possible.



"Oh not the eyes," Sarge said as he averted his gaze to the ground. After a few moments of thinking, he guessed that a little game would be somewhat better than being deathly bored. He sighed. "Oh...Alright."



"Yay!" Mater exclaimed as he happily pranced back to the other two, followed by Sarge.



"So, man, what are we playing?" Fillmore asked.



"Are ya'll ready for this?" Mater said, creating suspense.



"Yes yes, we're ready," Sarge said getting aggravated.



"Truth or dare!" Mater replied with the biggest grin on his face. Fillmore and Ramone smiled in anticipation, but Sarge didn't look so confident.



"Oh no," the veteran said as he backed away.



"Oh yes, man," Fillmore said with a smirk. "You've gotta do it. Besides, you've got nothing better to do. Or would you rather stay at home while I very loudly serenade you with Hendrix songs?" He asked. Sarge gave him a look of pure hatred before replying.



"The things I do for you cars," He muttered as he rolled back to face the others.



"Alright! So I'll start. I'll ask..." Mater looked around at the group he had. "Fillmore! Truth or dare, buddy."



Being the careless daredevil he was, Fillmore replied with,"Dare, definitely."



"Hm..." Mater went off on a trail of thought. It wasn't until a few moments later that Mater had his dare," I dare you to...race Sarge down Main Street."



"Yeeeah!" Fillmore exclaimed, making excited gestures with his front right tire.



"Nooooo. Nonononononono," Sarge said. "That is not going to happen, no." He seemed to have reached his most stubborn point as he shook his hood. Fillmore looked disappointed.



"Come on, man. Don't you want to do something fun for once?" Fillmore pleaded. Sarge said nothing in response. Suddenly an idea occurred to him. "I've got a deal for you." Sarge glanced up at the VW bus.



"Keep talking," he replied.



"If you win, I won't play any Hendrix for a week. A whole week of peace. Well for you anyway," Fillmore offered.



"And if you win?" Sarge asked.



"Oh I don't know. Nothing I guess," the hippy replied. There wasn't really anything of Sarge's that he wanted. Well there was one thing.



"It isn't a real bet unless you both get something out of it," Ramone said. To say the least, Ramone was really looking forward to this "race."



"Alright, man. If I win, I get the firewood in your backyard."



"My firewood? What do you need that for?" Sarge asked.



"Um. It's a secret," Fillmore replied with that dazed look on his face. "And plus, I'm not going to be chopping any of my own firewood," He explained. "Save the trees, man," He added.



"Is that it?" Sarge asked in disbelief.



"Okay....Well then I'll have that really cool rock that's in your front yard," Fillmore added.



"A rock?" Sarge asked with a laugh. "Alright hippy. You've got yourself a deal."



"Yeeeeahhh man! Let's do this!" the bus replied.



"Now we got that settled. And to put a little twist on it, me 'n' Ramone here'll join in too!" Mater exclaimed.



"Wait, what?" Ramone said, taken aback. "I'm not in on any of this. If Flo sees me she'll flip." He backed away a bit with a "no way" look on his face.



"Flo ain't anywhere nearby!" Mater exclaimed. "She went into town, remember?" Flo had left that morning to go into town with Sally and the other residents. Fillmore, Sarge, Mater, and Ramone decided not to.



Ramone sighed. "Alright dude. But if anything happens..."



"Yeah, yeah, it's all my fault, I know," Mater said. "Well let's get this show on the road! We start right here in front of the dome, and end at the train station." They nodded. The four cars made their way to the starting point, when--



"AHH! #*@$!" Fillmore yelled. Sarge, Ramone, and Mater quickly turned around to find Fillmore lying on his side, having tripped in the hole that Sarge had made with his tire. Sarge immediately burst into laughter, followed by Ramone.



"Oh goodness! I'll help yeah there, bud," Mater said as he cast his tow cable to Fillmore's side. He drove as hard as he could, until the hippy was back on his four tires.



"Thanks, Mater," Fillmore said as he shook his hood. Now the four cars finally made their way to the starting point. Each for were lined up at the same point: First Mater, then Ramone, Sarge, and Fillmore.



"Ready?" Sarge asked them. They all started their engines. Ramone's was the most impressive; he had the advantage, being the youngest.



"Set...,"Mater said as they got in racing positions.



"Go!" Fillmore yelled. At once all four of them sped off at high speeds. Ramone was first, then Mater, then Fillmore, then finally Sarge. Ramone was almost to the point of his house. As he was passing, he tripped on an oddly placed rock, and turned to the right; straight for his house. Too late to turn back, he slammed into the freshly painted picket fence; which unfortunately scratched his paintjob. Without thinking, he got back in the race, right after Sarge passed. A section of the fence had stuck to the top of his hood. In an effort to shake it off, he ran into the backend of Sarge. Out of surprise, Sarge jumped to the side, knocking a display of cans, whcih he ofcourse tripped on. At this point, the fence knocked into the cafe. Right after this, he heard glass shatters from inside. Sarge then gasped and quickly left Flo's. At the front of the race, Fillmore and Mater were going at it head to head.



"You had enough of this?" Mater yelled to Fillmore with a laugh.



"No way man," Fillmore yelled back as he revved up his engine even more. He really didn't have the horsepower for this, but he was having a great time, so he couldn't stop now.



They were nearing the fire station where they had agreed to make the finish line. They were both still right next to each other--not one inch in front of the other. At the moment they reached the fire station, they had tied. It was nearly impossible to see who had won the race. But just when they began to cheer, Fillmore and Mater both realized that they could not stop driving. They had built up so much momentum that their brakes wouldn't work right away. And due to this, they both spun nearly out of control. Mater zoomed to the right, and landed in a large pile of used tires, that were stacked neatly next to Red's garage. Fillmore on the other hand stopped right before he ran into Red's carefully grown flowers. At this point, the bus just sat there, wide-eyed, staring right at the statue of Stanley. Sarge crept up behind him.



"Guess I owe you some firewood and a rock," he said with an angry look on his face, due to the partial destruction of the town.



"Yeah..." Fillmore replied, finally remembering to breath. He sighed and backed up a little. Ramone and Mater came up next to the two. They all turned around and took a look at the wreckage behind them. Somehow along the way one of them had managed to knock down Luigi's tires. In addition to this, there was a break in the glass of Flo's window, Ramone's fence was destroyed, paint from that very fence had wiped onto the road, and several other unfortunate mishaps lay scattered along the town.



"Oops," Fillmore said, breaking the silence.



"'Oops' is right," a very stern voice said from their side. It was of all cars, Sheriff, and he looked angry. Behind him came the rest of the citizens. Red was high above the rest, and he was very relieved to see that for once his flowers were not harmed. Sally had a look of disbelief on her face, Flo was looking at her cafe with the same look someone would have if they were looking at a dead body, and the rest were still trying to figure out what on Earth was going on.



"We was just--" Mater tried to explain, but Sheriff interrupted.



"Follow me to the impound boys. You've got some explaining to do."



ooooooooooooooooooooooo



Many explanations later, Doc and Sheriff decided to force the four "delinquent road hazards," as Sheriff referred to them as, in the impound for a night. The rest was to be dealt with in the morning.



"It's your fault, hippy," Sarge said as he continued to dig another hole with his front right tire.



"Whoa man, who's the one that knocked over the cans, and broke Flo's window?" Fillmore replied.



"Well who's the one that made the bet to get me to do it in the first place? I believe that was you," Sarge said. "And plus, I was pushed," he muttered in a smaller voice.



"No dude, I didn't do that on purpose! Plus, you were--" Ramone began to accuse, but was interrupted by Mater.



"Alright everyone, let's not go pointin' tires. In the beginnin' of this whole thangy, I was the one who agreed to be blamed," Mater said. The three other cars stayed quite for the next few moments. The silence was broken by a giggle from Fillmore.



"What's so funny?" Sarge asked, still making the hole.



"Well you've got to admit, Sarge, it really was the most interesting thing that's happened in a long time," Fillmore replied with a smile. Sarge, Ramone, and Mater chuckled.



"Yeah hippy, I'll agree with you on that one," Sarge replied with a smile.



"It was worth getting my paint scratched. And that's saying something," Ramone added as he drew a flame in the dirt.



"Exactly! Finally ya'll understand the meanin' of fun! It was all especially worth it in my case since I won and all," Mater said, with a tone of bragging.



"You won? I don't think so man. I beat you by at least five whole inches!" Fillmore retorted with a wave of his tire.



"Nuh uh. You did not," Mater replied stubbornly.



"I did too," the hippy replied.



"Rematch next week?" Mater asked.



"You're on, man," Fillmore said. "Same time same place?"



"Of course!" Mater affirmed.



"Far out," Fillmore said as he got into his own corner of the impound, and dozed off into sleep.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So this is as far as I had in the other forum. If you are just reading this, then I'd appreciate, like, one review per each of these three chapters since I gave them to you all at once. Haha. I love reviews! Or at least comments, cause I worked hard man. So yeah. There's also a new chapter coming! Yay!

[Basil Sunshine]

Yay! Next Chapter! I’m so sorry for the wait. Our internet has been down and I’ve had NO chance to go to the library for their computer. I kinda like this chapter; I believe it went very well. I decided to capture what it was like at rehearsals, you know man? So I like it. And in case you guys think it’s a little weird how everyone’s acting a little child-like, I did that on purpose, haha. Well Enjoy!



ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

CHAPTER 4: REHEARSALS

"Alright everyone, let's try this one more time," Sally yelled to everyone, frustration rising in her voice. The citizens of Radiator Springs had decided that they would rehearse what they would do in the case of customers. It was almost one o'clock, and they had started at nine. Everyone was having trouble. And if one car messed up on their entrance, then everyone else was off. Someone always ended up driving up too early, while others missed their entrances completely. And since everyone but Sheriff had their own shop or business, he was the one to play the role of customer. He would rollup and let everyone perform their welcomes as rehearsed.



"Sally, with all do respect, can we please get some one else to be the customer?" Sheriff asked. "We've been doing this all day!"



"How 'in their face' do you want me to get?" Flo asked, getting in Sally's face.



"Should I exit my yard before I ask them or after?" Sarge asked while he practiced driving in and out of his driveway.



"Can I, like, not go first?" Fillmore pleaded for the hundredth time that day. Sally closed her eyes, and backed away from everyone.



"Alright guys, give me some space, please. Your answers are no, not too in their face, after, and no Fillmore, you must go first. Your house is the first one, and we need to be able to do this quick and in sync with everyone," Sally said, all at once with even more frustration in her voice than before.



"But I always get sidetracked! And I forget what to say. I'm no good at acting," Fillmore whined, his inner child showing through once again.



"No Fillmore, it isn't acting. Don't you want customers?" Doc asked. He was assisting Sally, but he was actually not really helping. He just enjoyed watching everyone drive back and forth and get in Sheriff's face. And he wouldn’t stop laughing at the multiple bumper stickers Lizzie had slapped onto Sheriff’s bumper. Lately he and Sheriff had been getting on each other’s nerves almost as much as Sarge and Fillmore, and that was saying something. But Doc and Sheriff are best friends at heart.



"Well of course I want customers, but can't I just welcome them how and when I want too?" Fillmore pleaded. Flo was the first to answer.



"Well, honey, you're right! Sally, why do we need to rehearse this?" Flo had that "you better give me a good answer" look on her face. Ramone backed her up.



"The customers we have seem a little freaked out by us. You know, since we're all perfectly rehearsed and stuff," he said. Sally sighed again.



"If we don't rehearse, nine times out of ten we're going to be bombarding the customers with offers, and they'll just be freaked out anyway," Sally suggested. Sarge, being one of the only ones who enjoyed rehearsals, joined in on the conversation.



"I think rehearsals are great. We'll know exactly what to do in the case of travelers, and we have something to do in our spare time," Sarge said, continuing his practice of driving in and out of his driveway.



"It's settled then," Sally said quickly before anyone could disagree. During this whole time of conversing, Luigi and Guido had been in the background playing with the tires. They were trying to see who could jump more tires than the other. So far Guido was winning, but Luigi was convinced that he was cheating by getting a running (or in this case driving) start.



"But really Sally, I'm tired of being the traveler!" Sheriff said, getting a little angry. Doc, who was sitting next to Sally, got a smug look on his face. "Hey! Hey, Sally, Doc's smirking," Sheriff said, tattling.



"Argh!" Sally yelled in frustration. Today everyone but her had been acting like complete children. Luigi and Guido, being completely A.D.D. were so into their tire game, Sheriff and Doc were tattling on each other, Fillmore just wouldn't pay attention, and everyone else was being just unbearable. She felt as overwhelmed as a babysitter handling quintuplets. "Okay. We're doing rehearsals whether you like it or not, and Doc it's your turn to be traveler. Sheriff, come stand here by me. Let's do this."



As Sheriff and Doc switched places, Sheriff stuck his tongue out at Doc.



oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo



"Come on, Fillmore. Just concentrate," Sarge told Fillmore. Sally and Doc (being the traveler) had both began rehearsing.



"But I can't, man," Fillmore said with a blank look on his face. "Every time I should be watching for the signal, I get distracted by, like...." While trying to think of what he usually gets distracted by, Fillmore became distracted by a little ladybug crawling up Sarge's antennae.



"There you go! Now stop that. Pay attention, soldier," Sarge said waving the bug off his antennae.



"No, you might hurt it!" The VW bus said as he pushed Sarge with his tire while trying to see which direction the lady bug was flung to.



"You really need to start caring more about getting customers, now you just need to--"



"FILLMORE!" Everyone but Sarge yelled. Doc and Sally were driving past Fillmore’s gate.



"You missed the signal!" Doc said. "Remember, once I get to your gate you're supposed to--"



"--come out and offer you my organic fuel, I know...But Sarge was distracting me," Fillmore blamed the army jeep.



"Oh no you don't, that wasn't my fault!" Sarge retorted. "I was just, uh, testing you!" he lied.



“No he wasn't he--" Fillmore began, but was interrupted by Sally.



"Okay everyone, let's just take a little break, and pick up where we left off a little later," She said as everyone began to disperse. Fillmore lowered his accusing tire. After everyone left, Fillmore turned to Sarge.



"Now what was that for?" he asked, slightly angry.



"What?" Sarge replied.



"Oh come on man, you know very well what! I'm sorry, but you always try to make me look stupid in front of everyone. And you've succeeded once again, man," the VW bus said in return as he pulled down some of the dry tye-dyed mud flaps.



"Oh now, boy I do not always try to make you look stupid. You do that part on your own," Sarge replied from across the fence separating their lawns. Fillmore just gave him a look.



"Oh now that really helped," Fillmore said sarcastically.



"Look, what I'm tryin' to say is, you don't exactly come off as the smartest fellow around," Sarge said. Fillmore frowned. "That's not really helping either, eh?" Fillmore's mood lightened up a bit, and he chuckled.



"Haha, not really man," he replied."But it's okay. I have other attributes that make up for that," Fillmore added as he gave an alluring "You know you want me" look.



"Alright, alright," Sarge said, backing up. "You think you can handle this customer-rehearsal thing though?"



"Oh yeah, man," He said with a smile. "Let's do this!" Sarge nodded and went to get everyone else. Fillmore waited and drove around in circles while humming the tune to "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix. He didn't notice the other citizens of Radiator Springs pull up into their positions, until it was too late. He was really getting into the song now. He soon reached the chorus, and with his front right tire in the air, he sang, “‘SCUSE ME, WHILE I KISS THE SKY!" He set his tire down and looked around. "Oh," he said with a blank look.



"Uh, right," Sarge said. "So I guess we should start now, right?" he asked Sally.



"Do you all want to give it another try then?" she asked everyone, who nodded in return. "Alright! Doc, you can go down to the end of the road I suppose, and everyone else, in your positions! Just like we rehearsed!" Everyone quickly got to their positions. As Doc rolled to the end of the road he received a pleased look from Sheriff, which plainly meant "Haha, I don't have to do it!" Sally drove down the road as well, to introduce the customer.



"Hello! Welcome to Radiator Springs, gateway to ornament valley, famous for its hospitality and service, how may I help you?" Sally said with the friendliest smile on her face.



"Hm...Well I believe I'm just passing through..." Doc acted, and he was pretty good too. He drove around Sally, looked around, and reached Fillmore's house. Everyone held their breath as they waited and hoped that Fillmore would just pay attention. But little did they know, Fillmore was concentrating very hard on this rehearsal. And right when Doc reached the bus's driveway, Fillmore came in right on cue.



"Hey man! What you really need is a sweet taste of my homemade organic fuel," He said driving along side the "customer." Doc smiled and looked up at him.



"Well no thank you sir, but I appreciate the offer," Doc continued on his drive up the street, and Fillmore followed close behind. He tried not too look to proud of himself, but he just couldn't help it. He was grinning side-view mirror to side-view mirror.



"Hey there, soldier! Why don't you come on down to Sarge's Surplus! The best place to fulfill all your surplus needs!" Sarge said, more perfect than ever.



"I don't believe I need any surplus as a matter of fact, but I'll keep that in mind," Doc said as he continued to drive down the road. He was doing exactly what Sally had told him to do-- just keep driving, and let everyone say their rehearsed lines. Meanwhile, Sarge turned to Fillmore, and they rolled up to each other and quietly gave each other high fives, so they wouldn't disturb the rest of the rehearsal.



"That was great!" Sarge whispered to Fillmore, who still had the biggest grin on his face.



"Yeah I know man, right?" he said. Looking back on Doc's progress, he had noticed that for once Luigi and Guido had stopped playing their tire game, Doc and Sheriff had stopped arguing, and Sally was looking less stressed. Doc finally reached the end of the street after the zillionth rehearsal. Everyone looked relieved, but Sally was literally speechless. It would have seemed completely ridiculous to any other car, but it really did mean alot to them that they finally perfected their routine. Sally finally regained consciousness.



"That was incredible! Everyone was perfectly on cue, just like it was supposed to be! Congratulations!" Sally said to everyone. Guido and Luigi were cheering with each other in Italian while doing little donuts in the road.



"Oh alright, so we're done?" Ramone asked, thinking it was too good to be true. Without waiting for an answer he and Flo quickly went home.



Meanwhile, Doc and Sheriff met up with one another. "See? I told you I was better," Doc said.



"What do you mean by that? I was a great customer too!" Sheriff retorted.



"Actually, I was the one who--" Doc began, but was cut off by Sally who came in between the two.



"Alright, you were both equally great! Now stop arguing, you're becoming as bad as Sarge and Fillmore," Sally said, rolling her eyes.



Back at Fillmore's dome, Fillmore was doing a sort of victory dance, but Sarge wasn't paying attention. He was pacing back and forth in Fillmore's yard, inspecting the tangled mess that is the trees, brush, and grass.



"You know man, I think I'll be able to handle a customer perfectly. Don't you?" Fillmore said as he pulled up next to Sarge, who laughed.



"Yes, as a matter of fact, you'd be able to handle one pretty well in my opinion," Sarge replied. There was complete silence for a few moments after the rest of the citizens of Radiator Springs had gone home. "You know Fillmore, in most places it's illegal to have your grass any higher than about a foot or so," Sarge added while they were still staring at Fillmore's jungle of a yard.



"What can I say? I like to live on the edge!" Fillmore said sarcastically. "I think I'll survive. Besides, I can drive way faster than Sheriff anyway. I've done it on several occasions, I'll do it again."



"Several occasions? How often have you been in trouble with the law?" Sarge said as he followed Fillmore who was driving towards the entrance to his dome.



"Um....Yeah, that's for me to know, and for you to never ever, and I mean never, find out," he replied with a mischievous look on his face. Sarge returned his look with a raised-eyebrow . Or in this case, raised windshield. Fillmore laughed as he backed into his house, separating the beaded curtains in the entrance, before Sarge could reply.



"Crazy hippie," he muttered as he drove into the house next door.



ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo



So how was it? I know the beginning seems to sort of lack the Sarge-Fillmore theme, but it went with the chapter. I’d really appreciate reviews man. I hope you enjoyed it!



Peace, love, and Cars!


Now I would have like, done these one a day, but I just couldn't wait. So I gave it to you all at once. I'm sorry.

[Wolf Mystic]

MESA LOVES IT, MESA LOVES IT!!!!!! Yousa waaaaaaay better typer than me!!! PWEEEEEEAZE CONTINUE!!! This has made my DAY!! I've had a crummy one so far. *pouts*

[Reiji Neko Mitsukai]

It's nice to see Sarge and Fillmore working together like that! That was a nice chapter!

[Basil Sunshine]

This is taking place not too long after Fillmore moved to Radiator Springs, but after he and Sarge became best friends. By the way, I used the word 'lungs' because...well you know. What else do I say. And yeah, I KNOW the movie had Fillmore living there much earlier, but....This is my story, so there. And this one isn't as funny and crazy as the rest, it's pretty much just Sarge and Fillmore hanging out and getting to know eachother better. And getting on eachother's nerves.



------------------------------------------



December 1977



Thunder rolled continuously accross the sky in Radiator Springs. The storm had came out of absolutely nowhere, and was completely unexpected in the desert town. Hail and rain were pelting against the buildings like bricks, and every resident was rushing to get to the safety of thier home. Fillmore, in particular, was having a hard time unclipping the tye dye mudflaps that were supposed to be drying.



"Just forget 'em, Fillmore! They're ruined anyway, just get inside! We're both getting hail damage as we speak!" his veteren nieghbor Sarge yelled from his flagpole. He had taken the United States flag from the front yard down, and was headed into his own house.



"No way man!" the hippie replied, taking down the last of the mud flaps. He didn't have the time to inspect the damage, and rushed into his dome. Sarge rolled his eyes and hurriedly raced to his own house. Once Fillmore got inside, he carefully placed each of them down side by side. He was breathing pretty heavily; the last seventeen years weren't the best time for his lungs. The van rolled back and looked at the five peices of 'art.' He smiled at the effect the rain and hail had on them; it gave the tye-dye an interesting speckled sort of thing. "Right on," he whispered to himself. After a moment, he realized what was missing. Rushing over to the television, Fillmore turned it on, just in time for Saturday Night Live.



"Yay!" he said to himself. On the TV, Gilda Radner was doing her spheel for the opening.



"Live from New York...It's saturday night!" She said, and Fillmore said it with her. But just before the beginning of his show could commence, a terrible thing happened; the electricity went out. His face went blank. "What?!" he yeled as he continuously punched the power button. After realizing that the TV really wasn't working, no matter how many times it was hit, Fillmore raced out of his home to check his neighbor's house. Sarge, luckily, had his electricity up and running. Without giving it a second though, the volkswagen drove quickly to the hut, ignoring the hailstorm overhead. He got to the garage, and banged on the door a couple thousand times.



On the inside, an annoyed army vehicle turned around from facing the TV, on which he was watching the news. Even though Sarge new very well who was coming that late at night, and in a storm for that matter, he asked, "Who is it?" This was followed by a illegible yell. "Oh...alright," Sarge answered, rolling his eyes. He rolled the garage door up to allow his friend inside. "Is it--"



Before he got an answer, Fillmore passed him by and got inches from the television, quickly changing it to Saturday Night Live. "Hey look, Buck Henry is hosting, he said. Sarge looked outside, then back at Fillmore.



"Are you insane?" the old car asked, rolling his door back down. "You come racing over to my house like your being chased by a monster to watch my television?" He didn't get a response from Fillmore, who was too fixated on the TV. It wasn't until a commercial break that the van broke away from the television.



"Sorry about that," Fillmore said, making hisself at home. "I haven't missed one episode yet. It's my goal in life."



Sarge laughed. "What an achievement that'll be," he said sarcastically, and he wasn't a sarcastic kind of car. "Help youself to some oil or something."



"No thanks, I'm still organic," Fillmore answered, driving around the room, looking at the medals and certificates placed all over the walls. He stopped at one in particular.



"That one's my favorite," Sarge said, rolling up next to the van. After reading it, Fillmore looked over to him.



"You saved someone's life?" he asked.



"Well sure. I mean, we all did. Boy, you have no idea. Every single bullet and grenade in World War II and 'Nam saved a life. Well, maybe not so much the Germans or Vietnamese, but for our country anyway," Sarge answered.



"Not really. Both of those wars were meaningless," Fillmore said, rolling away from the display.



"You have no idea what you're talking about," Sarge said, losing his good mood. "And I stopped arguing with your kind years ago. Now that's when it gets meaningless."



"We're just looking in through different perspectives, that's all. If you grew up with the kind of influence I did, your mind would be all expanded and opened. You'd be in a sort of, uh, psychadellic realization...? If you know what I mean," Fillmore said, confusing himself. He forgot all about SNL, which was continuing on the TV.



Sarge just laughed. "Yeah, alright. You're really insane, you know that?"



"Story of my life," Fillmore replied with a smile and a sigh. He looked around the perfect, organized room. "So what's your hobby? Cleaning?"



"Military Relations and Sales," Sarge said as he opened the door to the storage room of unlabeled militray equipment.



"Is that a euphimism for bootlegging war stuff? You like the black market?" the hippie replied with a laugh.



"Sorry to disappoint ya, but you're the only illegal kid around here," Sarge said as he closed the door. "Hey, I think, you're missin' your show, boy." Fillmore replied with a sort of gasp as he bolted to the television.



"Hey man, you wanna join me?" he asked, scooting over.



"I have nothing better to do, you took my news time," Sarge said as he pulled up next to his friend. A skit was on with Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd.



"You know who they are, dontcha?" Fillmore asked the veteran.



"Oh sure. You forced me to watch this last month, remember?"



"Right! I did, didn't I. Now you see, here's Jane Curtain. She's got some pretty nice--"



"Yeah, yeah, I see 'em. Ya don't gotta point them out," Sarge replied. "So are you staying over night? I mean, you shouldn't be going back out there again."



"Hey, thanks. Yeah, I'll totally do that," Fillmore said his eyes still inches away from the television. They both continued to watch, laughing at each skit. It ended at eleven, which was late for Sarge, who was used to a soldier's sleeping times. As for Fillmore, he slept on and off throughout day and night. Whatever suited him.



After a few months of getting situated with the sleeping arrangements, Fillmore said,"You know....this room needs something."



"What? You're gonna say a lava lamp?" Sarge asked, rolling his eyes.



"No," Fillmore answered, though that was exactly what he was about to say. "I'm gonna decorate this room for you, alright?" he said.



"I've been inside your 'home'," Sarge replied. "It's a psychadelic mess, to use your language."



Fillmore laughed. "It's a psychadelic haven, that's what it is....please?"



"Not on your life, hippie," the veteran quickly answered.



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There you are! I've finally updated after I got a review, haha. So I'm going to continue, because I forgot how much fun I have writing these. Well, please review, and you'll have more!